Ozzy and Sharon Osborne Takes RAW on a Crazy Train: Raw Recap 11/2/09

(1 vote, average 5.00 out of 5)

Written by Shane Howard

Monday, 02 November 2009 22:11

It's Monday night; it's time for wrestling; it's time for Raw. WHAT?! Are we at a rock concert? Is this Ozz Fest? Are we at a MTV pitch meeting? Ozzy and Sharon Osborne are in the house for hosting duty.

The Osbornes are in the ring to start things off, Ozzy sitting in a plush red chair. Sharon and Ozzy reminds us of Ozzy's previous appearances in the WWE: WrestleMania II with Capt. Lou Albano and on a SmackDown! show in 2007. The couple is soon interrupted by the Miz, Legacy, Big Show, and DX.

The Miz wants to have his match from last week against Evan Bourne thrown out. Legacy wants Kofi Kingston in a handicap match after his destruction of Randy Orton's stock car last week. Big Show wants an apology from the entire Raw roster for turning their back on him last week, and DX wants to plug Ozzy's new book, as well as the DX book.

To help the Osbornes out, DX helps them make matches. The Miz, in attempt to erase last week's loss, will face Bourne tonight with the U.S. Championship on the line. Kingston will face Orton one-on-one and Show will be in a triple-threat match with Chris Jericho and John Cena.

What is up with the guest hosts and their inability to say the names of the wrestlers properly? Kofi Kingston went from Kofi Johnson last week, to Kobe Kingston today. Evan Bourne is called Evan Brawn.

Match #1: The Miz © vs. Evan Bourne for U.S. Championship

A very enjoyable match that only got about six minutes to entertain. Bourne got in a lot of offense and uses his speed and legs to his advantage. The Miz does his part to try to ground the high flyer. Bourne knocks Miz down and goes for the Shooting Star Press. Miz rolls out of the way, Bourne lands on his feet, but the Miz hip tosses him right into the turnbuckle. Skull Crushing Finale ends things.

Winner: The Miz via pinfall, using Skull Crushing Finale

Opinion: Bourne shows why he is on television every week as he is capable of putting on good matches. This match was pretty exciting for its short time. Although we knew Bourne wasn't going to win, he gave the illusion that he stood a great chance. Looks like we might see Mr. Bourne get a U.S. title shot. Rating: ***

Sheamus, still avoiding the tanning salons, promises to end Jamie Noble's wrestling career tonight. Michael Cole tells us how Sheamus ran through the ECW roster.

Really? Really Michael? He ran through the roster and didn't even face the ECW Champion?

Match #2: Jamie Noble vs. Sheamus

Sheamus continues what he started last week and completely throws Noble arond like a rag doll. A couple elbow strikes to the bridge of Noble's nose before hitting a modified uranage backbreaker. Sheamus then hits a pump kick and covers Noble. Sheamus isn't ready to end thinks though as he breaks up his own pin. Noble is in the corner and Sheamus just pounds on him until the referee deems Noble unable to continue. After the bell, Sheamus continues to beat down Noble. The Irishman kicks the Southerner off the top rope before Powerbombing him on to the ring floor.

Winner: Sheamus via referee's decision, Noble unable to continue

Opinion: I wouldn't so much call this a match as Sheamus just beat the heck out of Noble. I enjoyed his dominance though. That Power Bomb was devastating and left the crowd booing the heck out of Sheamus. Rating: **1/2 (Mostly for the beat down afterwards.)

We get a recap of Kofi Kingston's actions from last week. Josh Matthews catches up with him backstage and inquires if he regrets what he did. Kingston doesn't regret a thing and wants Orton to know that Orton cost Orton the title at Bragging Rights.

Match #3: Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

Why the heck is Kingston still coming out to Jamaican-inspired music?

The bell rings and the men circle one another. They exchange slaps and Orton quickly gets on the offensive. Kingston is able to mount his comeback as the crowd gets behind him. Orton is sent to the outside of the ring and out comes the rest of Legacy. Kofi is unfazed as he dives throw the middle and top rope, landing and taking out all three men. Before the three stablemates can enter the ring and attack Kingston, Ozzy informs us that the match is now a six-man tag.

Match #3B: Legacy vs. Kofi Kingston, MVP, and Mark Henry

After we return from commercial, Kingston takes out all three members of Legacy one after another. We then get to see a Boom Drop and Ballin' Elbow combination on Ted DiBiase Jr. MVP is now in the ring and wishes he was someplace else he begins to be worked over by the other team. Double team by DiBiase and Cody Rhodes while Orton distracts the ref. MVP is finally able to tag in Mark Henry after a belly-to-belly toss on Rhodes. The big man is getting things done until the rest of Rhodes' team interferes. Rhodes attempts a leap off the top rope but he is caught by Henry and feels the World's Strongest Slam.

Winner: Kofi, MVP, and Henry via pinfall, using World's Strongest Slam

Opinion: I knew we wouldn't see the one-on-one match last for long as they are building to that eventual match. This match did a nice job of letting us know that Legacy will be fighting the team of MVP and Henry for a short period of time. MVP played a great damsel in distress here. Kofi continues to impress and the crowd is getting behind him even more. Rating: ***1/2

It's time to see WWE's Got Talent where Ozzy, Sharon, and The Great Khali serve as judges.

Santino Marella bites the head off of a bat...man.

Chris Masters his has breasts jump in tune to Ozzy's song "Crazy Train."

Chavo Guerrero and Jillian Hall provide us with a horrible duet. After stopping the horrible singing, Sharon slaps the taste out of Jillian's mouth. Chavo gets in Sharon's face but Khali delivers a chop to the Guerrero's head. Hornswoggle, wigged out, looking like the Osbourne's son Jack, runs down and hits the Tadpole Splash on a downed Chavo.

Match #4: Diva Battle Royal

Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, the Bella Twins, and Eve Torres all in the ring. In a somewhat surprising twist, Kim is the first one eliminated as one of the Bellas takes her out. Eve is able to take out both Bellas, one after another. Jack Swagger comes out to watch Eve but his distraction costs Ms. Torres. Fox ends Eve's chances and it's Kelly versus Alicia Fox. Fox is able to hoist Kelly up and drop her over the top for the win.

Winner: Alicia Fox

Opinion: This has become the norm for picking the No. 1 contender for the Divas Championship. Nothing really to write home about here as no lady showed anything spectacular. Glad to see Fox get another shot at the title. Seems the writers are behind her. Not sure what is going on with Kim as I am thinking it is high time to put her in the title scene. Rating: *1/2

Chris Jericho gets his chance to interact with the guest hosts. Jericho reveals how he was a huge Ozzy fan but now he is better than Ozzy.

DX has Hornswoggle hung up on a hook and tells the "leprechaun" that he cannot infringe on DX's material for at least two weeks. Cena saves the little guy and then we have the scene set for the triple threat match at Survivor Series. Mathematically, DX has a better shot at leaving with the title. If you don't know, there is a 67% probability of Cena losing the title.

DX is joining the announcers for the main event.

Match #5: Big Show vs. Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

HBK confirms that he is that he is the Robin of DX. Thanks Shawn, now all those Triple H haters will use that as ammo. JeriShow double teaming Cena. The announcers tag numbers "80 percent of statistics are wrong 70% of the time." Triple H mocks Cole stating "vintage Big Show." The alliance breaks down as Jericho has some words for Show before slapping him. Show sends Jericho to the outside. Cena attempts the Attitude Adjustment on Big Show but Cena isn't able to hold the big man up. After avoiding an elbow drop from the middle rope by Show, Cena begins building momentum. A few shoulder blocks on both opponents followed by the You Can't See Me on Jericho. When going for the Attitude Adjustment, Cena is punched in the head (rather weakly) by Show. Jericho covers for the pin.

Winner: Chris Jericho via pinfall, using Knockout Punch by Big Show

Opinion: A standard triple-threat match where a tag team is in the match. The teamwork followed by dissention was expected. As this wasn't for the title, there was no surprise to see Cena take the loss. Rating: ***

After the match, a Walls of Jericho/Cobra Clutch combination by JeriShow on Cena. DX leaves the table and tries to break things up but they are laid out by the tag team champs.

Overall

We continue building things slowly and it is a good thing. DiBiase dropped another hint about his possible break from Legacy when he stated that he spent more money on Orton's car.

Kingston seems to be fitting right in with his new role and he needs to continue delivering while he has the opportunity.

Santino didn't deliver in the humor this week but Masters and Hornswoggle did. DX, as DX does, made us laugh as well.

Signs are being given that DX might not break up right now and that they might go after JeriShow very soon.

Next week, in England, boxer Ricky Hatton guest hosts.

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