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My loyal Jimicholics, I will now give my opinions; my two-cents toward the WWE's four basic shows: Raw, ECW, Superstars, and SmackDown! I will now be reviewing Superstars and SmackDown to finish!
Each show will be reviewed under four categories:
Main Eventer: These are things that the show does exceptionalyl well. It may also be a certain performer who shines and stands out above others.
Mid-Carder: These are things that the show does very well; but not all the time. It may also be a certain performer who is getting a push to stardom.
Curtain Jerker: These are things that the show needs to really improve on, such as a storyline or a certain performer's gimmick.
Jobber: These are things that the show really needs to get rid of; again, such as a storyline or a certain performer's gimmick.
All set? Good! Let's begin! And remember, the following statements are my own opinions. I am not forcing you to agree with me at all. If you do, great. If you don’t, even better. The world would be boring if we were all the same…
Superstars:
Main Eventer
Vintage Saturday Morning!- The look, presentation and feel of this program is similar to the yester years of WWE programming and I for one, like this bit of nostalgia. It's not exactly "Superstar vs. Jobber", but it still works. Usually, a match is contested between new up and comers or possibly a rematch between wrestlers in a feud. For instance, we get an awful lot of The Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme. The matches aren't exactly important and hardly move a storyline, except for the bragging rights of "Ha! We won on Superstars!" but that's okay because I don't think that's the purpose of this show. In fact, I really don't know what the purpose of this show is besides giving the younger talent even more time to shine and to just have fun.
Invincible- I'm digging the theme to the show. So much in fact that I've bothered to download it. It's very catchy and fits the program very well. I like it a lot better than the other show's themes just because of the energy. Good job, Adelita's Way!
You'll Always Remember Your First Time- The very first episode of Superstars set the bar for this show (obviously) and the WWE pulled off the all the stops. Undertaker, Kane, Matt Hardy, John Cena And Randy I can remember being on the very first shows. It was a good move to hype up their newest program.
Mid-Carder
It’s Okay, It Happens To Everyone- With such a strong start, Superstars had seemed to lose it's edge and rather fast. What happened to all those main event talents? Why am I treated to these boring "Who vs. Who" matches? What purpose do these matches serve? The only reason this isn’t lower on the list is because they’ve been actually correcting this in recent installments.
Hype- One major problem this show faces, and may be able to correct, is that for the time being, if you miss the program, you’re not missing much. A loss or win doesn’t do much for the victor/loser. Superstars can be a fun show to watch and given the proper attention and treatment (ECW!) it could be a must-see! For now though, it’s just kind of there. I know what the purpose of the show is, but still you can make it fun and meaningful…
WGN- This is an odd nitpick on paper, but in my head, it sounds reasonable. What’s with the station? I didn’t even know it existed until they announced the premiere. Maybe if it was on a better known station, it would do higher ratings. That’s my gripe with WGN. It’s as if they chose to broadcast Superstars on public access instead of HBO. Odd, right?
Curtain Jerker
NONE
Jobber
NONE
(The reason for these categories being blank is that, well, since it’s the baby of the bunch, I don’t feel there’s enough to report on it yet. I think it would be premature to judge such harsh criticism on a show that hasn’t even had a full year yet. It was hard enough finding the minor flaws for me. I have nothing against Superstars. I enjoy it most of the time…)
SmackDown:
Main Eventer
C.M. Punk- If Jericho is the reason I watch Raw (and anything really) then Punk is the main reason I tune into SmackDown! every Friday night! This is coming from someone who used to hate him too! I am really enjoying Punk’s heel turn. His feud with Jeff Hardy was epic and very entertaining. It was fresh and, for the first time in a long time, I can say that I actually cared about a storyline. The WWE really does need a Straight-Edge champion!
John Morrison- My second reason to watch SmackDown is to see the very talented John Morrison in action! Sure, his mic skills aren’t all that great but he will improve (hopefully) in time. It doesn’t take away from the fact that he well may be the most athletically gifted performer on SmackDown’s (or any) roster. I think every time he has a match, it’s possibly going to be the best match on the card. The only thing I find odd is that he is supposed to be a rip-off of Jim Morrison, of the Doors, but his theme music is a faux Jimmi Hendrix tune. People are indeed strange…
Dolph Ziggler- When Dolph first appeared, I really didn't get or care for the character. I really thought he would just fade away and get "Future Endeavored" but I must say, I am starting to get behind Mr. Ziggles now. I thought about it and he’s a great Old School-ish heel. A mix between Rick Rude and Mr. Perfect seemingly. Something we greatly need. Currently, he and Morrison are feuding, in what has been a fun program. Don’t ruin it ‘E!
Mid-Carder
Kane- As much as I love Kane he doesn’t seem to do much of anything these days. Maybe I should be more specific and say he doesn’t do much of anything IMPORTANT these days. What happened? I am one to think a monster, the brother of the Undertaker, would be a more powerful and important wrestler and holder of a world title more often. The only reason Kane doesn’t fall lower is because, truthfully, he doesn’t need a title to be entertaining. He shoots fire for God’s sake! Glen Jacobs deserves to be used better…
Tag Team Division- I know that the tag division is all but dead in the WWE (like the Women’s…but more on that later) but I think the teams on SmackDown are the closest we have to living in the glory days. Cryme Tyme, The Hart Dynasty, Jerishow, Brothers Of Destruction and, at one time, the Hardy Boyz have all helped keep it alive. One thing that stands out is their teams actually have names. I hate when a team is just known as "This Guy and That Guy!". Kudos for just trying. It may not save the division but it gives it that, "going down fighting" vibe.
The Undertaker- Here’s the thing: 'Taker is a legend. In the truest sense of the word. His career has been amazing. That being said, I don’t think he needs to be champion. He is injured currently and will be used scarcely. Triple threats and so forth. My question is, with all the great talent (Punk, Jericho, Show, JoMo…) what’s the point of letting the old, graying 'Taker keep a belt he can’t hardly defend? Undertaker, I want you to retire at WM, under your own terms; not suddenly because you're breaking apart and don’t want to slow down. Drop the belt. Disappear until WrestleMania 26...Casket Match time maybe?!
Curtain Jerker
R-Truth- What’s Up?! What’s up, indeed! Once, a promising up and comer, now R-Truth is lost in the shuffle. Sure, he was in a somewhat "program" with Drew McIntyre but he’s basically been beaten down every time they meet. Lopsided isn’t entertaining. Just last night, he got a victory (albeit, an assist of sorts) against C.M. Punk so maybe they have better things in store for the Truth!
Mike Knox- Ugh! The WWE has this weird fetish with these big, monster-like men such as Knox. They get built up in the beginning really well (Khali!) but at the end, they end up in a stupid hat and tye-dye shirt dancing…badly. Anyone who guesses who I am referencing gets 5 points and a cookie, by the way. Mike Knox is over 6 feet tall. He is over 300 pounds. He has a decent gimmick (I like it at least) and is a decent wrestler and yet, he cannot beat little Rey Mysterio? Doesn’t make sense when he has no trouble defeating any one else bigger or smaller.
Matt Hardy- Poor, poor Matthew. He just can’t get a break. He’s brother to Drug Hardy; who, even though is the more reckless and unstable performer; has gotten more titles, fame, money and importance than Matt EVER will. He is good, then he’s bad…then he’s good again for no apparent reason, other than, "Oops, silly me! I forgot I love Jeff!". Matt is so talented and a much better wrestler than most. Most importantly, his love for the sport is really there. He needs no breaks or to figure out what he wants (Got that Jeff?) and yet, he seems to always be punished…
Jobber
Jeff Hardy- Ugh! I’m not a girl. I’m not 12. I’m not enigmatic enough. Therefore, I can’t stand Jeff Hardy. Jeff is proof that money is the root of all evil and when it comes down to it, the most important thing ever. This screw up has gotten more chances than anyone ever has before; given his XTREME instability and track record. He is marketed as a hero and role model for children, which is entirely wrong in my opinion knowing the man behind the character is what you’re going to get more often than not. Yet, he makes the WWE a sh*t load of money…so, the ends justify the means? It is one thing to say Jeff Hardy is sick and addicted to his demons and needs help; that’s one thing. It’s entirely another thing to say, Jeff Hardy is sick, addicted to his demons and needs help…let’s put out a video! Sorry kids, Jeff Hardy is not a hero, role model or to be looked up to. That, and his band/music sucks.
Divas Division- Here she comes again. Like good medicine. Yeah, too bad Maria can’t wrestle for sh*t though. Half the division can’t. On every show. We have some who can and are excused (Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Nattie Neidhart for example) but even they can’t save the division…seemingly. My big gripe here is that there’s NO REAL storylines for the women. Sure, Michelle McCool hating Mickie James SEEMS like one but hey, I hate my neighbors. Does that make it a storyline or interesting? There is nothing deep about the divas. They may be smart, sexy and powerful but they aren’t entertaining. At least we used to get Bikini shoot magazines. Damn you, PG!
WWE Universe- This is kind of tied to the Jeff thing but here goes:
Dear Universe, God you’re easy to manipulate.
Your Savior,
Jimicho
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